tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125354934408472049.post5377087541045923887..comments2024-02-20T00:10:20.214-06:00Comments on KatyDid Cancer: Day 85: Shiny unhappy peopleUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125354934408472049.post-39040211774566468612010-07-30T13:18:54.143-05:002010-07-30T13:18:54.143-05:00First, none of your cancer blogs are really all th...First, none of your cancer blogs are really all that chipper... yet there are a lot of us out here who still read every single one, because we love you (Geoff and I read this one together last night). So stop worrying about that.<br /><br />Second, remember what your mom said about the period when you were young and she was sick? Kids just want their mom around - that makes a huge difference. Based on what you've said before, you are going through what may possibly (hopefully) be THE HARDEST THING YOU WILL EVER DO IN YOUR LIFE specifically because you want to up the chances of being around for your kids for a long time to come. You love your family and you want to live.<br /><br />So, you couldn't be doing anything else right now. You made no choice in getting cancer, so you should have no regret. And as far as what your marriage should be, I have never met a marriage that didn't include some kind of pain and suffering. Two people helping eachother through those times is what makes the relationship beautiful. Same for mother and child. You can't shield them from this and you shouldn't have to. But how you talk to them or remain near to them to try to get through it together as best as you can, that makes you a wonderful mother. Someday, they will have terrible struggles of their own, and maybe part of them will remember this and it will bring them some sort of strength.<br /><br />You're doing all of this to defend your future with your husband and your children and yourself. Lovemaking and outings and movies and housecleaning will all come later. In the meantime, try to try to focus on today and work through each moment as it comes. Right now.<br /><br />Because, lastly, right now... you are beautiful. I take back all the stuff about being hippy cute. Your sleek smooth head is elegant and alluring, much more so than the fuzz. I love your choice. I love that you have taken some control back by not waiting for the chemicals to take your hair. Don't regret that.<br /><br />And on those days when you are weak and the pain of the treatment shows, your naked head is part of the struggle that you are going through. Cover it only if you want to, but don't think that you owe society anything. Your priority lies first in yourself before you can have anything to offer anyone else, including Gabe or the kids or any of us. Forget about total strangers. Do only what will help you get through this.<br /><br />Much love.Juliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15004173055166404126noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125354934408472049.post-84586398230505154912010-07-30T11:15:13.756-05:002010-07-30T11:15:13.756-05:00Just some random thoughts to offer some perspectiv...Just some random thoughts to offer some perspective... On the shaved head, a good friend in college sported a shaved head, and there was a noteable difference between the buzz and the clean shaven head, but she owned it. She'd nonchalantly say, yeah, I bic'd it. So you bic'd it. That's cool.<br /><br />On photos, I'm probably the only person in my family who displays a family picture that includes my sister's ex-husband, but it's the only family picture we have that includes my grandma. That's how families are. There's never one point in time where everyone is drama-free. We all take turns with our respective love and loss. Thank goodness it is that way.<br /><br />On the bathroom scene: our friends with the 5 kids have decided that if they ever write a book about their life together, it will be called, "you're gonna want to turn on a fan", since so many of their conversations happen in the bathroom. What you described, two married people crying as one shaves the other's head is incredibly intimate and, I think, beautiful. As are you.Jennifer Hillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17916821571244626445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125354934408472049.post-25103066228986512532010-07-29T23:37:30.777-05:002010-07-29T23:37:30.777-05:00All I can scream right now between the tears of so...All I can scream right now between the tears of sorrow at things you never want to have to do is, "It ISN'T a lie..." but the uncertainty of what's ahead and the regret of time wasted in the past because I just assumed there's always tomorrow overwhelm. That's why I was crying while shaving your elegant head. Now that the razorburn's worn off that's how it looks - a simply elegant, pure, super-evolved cranium, smooth and smart. And yeah, we should have been doing anything tonight besides shaving your head... but while chemo's made your body as much an alien thing as may be humanly possible in this world we will make do with doing what we have to do and enjoying whatever we can; but so long as I'm your husband I will do what you need me to do and no adversity can anull that. Not while our love perseveres! And the outpouring of love embodied by those following this blog will get you through even these and any darker moments that may lie ahead. But enough typing, enough words, time for hugs and sleep and facing tomorrow feeling a little better.gabesterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12668071288755419304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125354934408472049.post-68698256110079188072010-07-29T23:31:32.823-05:002010-07-29T23:31:32.823-05:00Stay strong, guys. Our hearts are with you.Stay strong, guys. Our hearts are with you.gmorishigehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01745328018352248456noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7125354934408472049.post-67263857941025689942010-07-29T23:28:39.154-05:002010-07-29T23:28:39.154-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.gabesterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12668071288755419304noreply@blogger.com